I think we can all agree that anxiety is an essential part of being human. Without it we would have been long since extinct. Dangers and risks such as being eaten, attacked, starvation and catching a deadly disease have been hugely reduced by advances in defence and protection, medicine and farming. Despite this, though, we still live in a society that causes so many of us to feel anxious or scared day to day.
Whilst many of the external threats still remain, a lot of anxiety now comes from internal psychological threats such as judgement from others, catastrophic fear of illness, imaging the worst case scenario, terrifying panic attacks and many more. These modern dangers are no less real to our anxiety than when our ancestors encountered a sabre tooth tiger on the plains.
Psychological threats call for psychological responses and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has proved to be a highly effective therapy in reducing anxiety. So how does CBT understand anxiety? Well, it suggests that we have experiences in life that lead us to create beliefs about ourselves and the world and it is these beliefs that cause us to think and behave in a certain way.
For these purposes lets talk about someone, (we’ll call him John), who has sadly lost a relative to a sudden illness and may develop a belief that he is highly likely to get a deadly illness out of the blue which leads to consuming worry (cognitive) about getting ill and a need to check his symptoms regularly by Googling, scanning his body and getting regular GP check ups (behavioural).
The cause of anxieties takes many forms but a helpful way of understanding why we feel so anxious about a particular thing can be understood via the anxiety equation which breaks anxiety into four parts.
Perceived probability– How likely it feels that the fear will come true (0-100)
Perceived awfulness– How bad we think it will be if the fear comes true (0-100)
Perceived coping – How well we feel we can cope with feared outcome (0-100)
Perceived rescue– How likely we will be helped if the worst happened (0-100)
Don’t worry about any adding or dividing, the higher the ratings on the top half of the equation and the lower the bottom half, the more anxious we will be. Let’s take the example of John and his health anxiety to explain further.
His perceived probability might be 60/100 belief that he will get a sudden illness as a relative had it and he thinks there is a genetic cause.
His perceived awfulness could be 90/100 as he has seen someone close to him die suddenly from an illness.
His perceived coping would be dependent on how well he thinks his relative dealt with their diagnosis, so let’s say they fell apart and self-destructed during their illness then his coping abilities would be low – let’s say 20/100.
His perceived rescue would be based on how supportive the systems around his relative were, so hypothetically his family were supportive but the doctors treated him badly, so that might be a 50/100.
CBT targets the four areas using various techniques with the aim of reducing the ratings in the top half and increasing the ratings in the bottom.
If you experience anxiety see if you can work out your own equation ratings and if it fits with your situation.
This is for illustrative purposes only. If you are experiencing problems with mental or emotional health, please speak to an experienced health professional.
Where’s my Motivation?
Success isn’t overnight. It’s when every day you get a little better than before. It adds up – Dwayne Johnson
Question: I need help regarding motivation. It’s always been my biggest struggle. Whatever I do, I just can’t stay motivated enough to eat right and work out, which stops me from being consistent, which prevents me from making progress. What can I do to change this?
This is one of the most common questions I’ve been asked, and the answer is the complete opposite of what you think it is.
If you struggle with motivation, please pay very close attention.
Most people approach goals like losing fat or building muscle with motivation as the sole (or at least, primary) factor getting them to consistently do what needs to be done.
This is great, except for one thing: motivation is temporary.
It goes up and down over the course of a day, comes and goes over the course of weeks, and completely vanishes and eventually reappears (if you’re lucky) over a span of months, years, and decades.
It’s something that could be there in full force on Monday but then not be there at all on Tuesday.
Yet this is the thing you (and everyone else) have decided to rely on to get yourself to consistently do what needs to be done on a daily basis?
That’s never going to work.
It’s impossible.
You’re doomed from the start with this approach.
To begin with, motivation is a wonderful thing for getting people to STARTdoing something, but it isn’t very good for getting people to continue doing that thing on a consistent basis.
And that’s why the real problem here has nothing to do with your lack of motivation, or your inability to “stay motivated.”
“Staying motivated” doesn’t exist, so let’s permanently remove that concept from your brain and stop wasting your time searching for it.
You’ll never find it.
Instead, the real problem is your belief that motivation is something you need to have in order to do what needs to be done.
It’s not.
For these purposes, take me, for example.
Do you think I’m always motivated to work out? 3-5 days per week? Every week? For the last 15 years?
No!
But yet I don’t miss workouts.
And do you think I’m always motivated to eat right? And stick to my diet? And eat the right amounts of calories/macros each day while keeping the yummy/junky stuff to a minimum?
No!
Am I always motivated to fall out of bed, sit at my desk and publish posts and courses every morning?
Not really!
But yet I do it anyway. Well, mostly 😊
How do I do it, you ask?
Do I have exceptional will power? Amazing genetics? A personal chef who cooks all of my meals for me? The perfect Instagram feed filled with the right combination of inspirational quotes?
Um, no.
What I have are habits I’ve built up over time that ensure I do what needs to be done regardless of whether I feel motivated to do it.
It’s just like brushing my teeth every night.
This isn’t something I’m ever motivated to do, but yet it gets done every single night without fail.
It’s completely on autopilot, and my feelings don’t play a role in whether or not I do it.
It doesn’t matter if I’m tired. Or busy. Or not in the mood.
It just gets done.
Working out and eating right are exactly the same.
Granted, it will take more time and effort to build these habits than it did to build the habit of brushing your teeth.
We’re comparing one small habit (brushing your teeth) with two really big habits (proper diet and exercise) which encompass dozens of smaller sub-habits.
But the underlying concept is still the same.
So if you can manage to brush your teeth every night, then guess what? You have what it takes to consistently stick to your diet and workout.
You just need to start approaching them the same way.
And the first step you need to take is to stop relying on motivation.
No matter how much you seek it out in an attempt to find new and better ways to “get motivated” and “feel motivated” and “stay motivated,” it will always fail you.
Instead, put that time and effort into building the habits that will allow you to do the important things even when you’re not feeling motivated to do them.
That’s going to be the key. The key to your success or lack thereof.
So… how do you build these habits?
Start by approaching each new habit one at a time instead of trying to do 100 new things all at once. 100 new things may be interesting for a while, but ultimately rarely works.
Instead, pick one thing you can start doing tomorrow that will help you reach your goals.
• Maybe that’s working out just once or twice per week?
• Maybe that’s eating more protein?
• Maybe that’s replacing that fizzy drink with water?
• Maybe that’s tracking your calories?
• Maybe that’s weighing yourself daily and tracking the weekly averages?
• Maybe that’s something else altogether.
Whatever it is, it doesn’t have to be perfect or even close to it. That will come later.
For now, just pick one thing and focus entirely on doing that one thing on a consistent basis for a few weeks.
Once you’ve successfully done that, repeat this process again with a second thing while keeping the first habit intact.
A few weeks later, add on a third thing.
This approach will allow you to gradually build a bunch of smaller habits that will eventually form the bigger habits you need to be successful.
This is the opposite of what most people do, which is jump right into doing EVERYTHING on Day 1 when they’re feeling that sudden burst of motivation, but then they inevitably fail to sustain it when that feeling of motivation disappears soon after.
This approach prevents you from being one of those people.
And more importantly, this approach builds momentum.
You have one thing on top of another thing on top of another thing… all moving you closer and closer towards your goals.
And once you’re building momentum towards your goals, three wonderful things happen:
1. It all becomes easier and easier for you to continue doing.
2. You become much less likely to ever stop, quit, or get off track.
3. You realise that motivation wasn’t the thing you needed.
For an extended dialogue on motivation, or for that matter anything health, fitness or wellness related, drop me a line at info@hunkydory.me.uk and we can chat about it.
Most of us are led to believe that happiness is a final destination — one that can be reached if we make the right choices, learn from our mistakes, and keep pushing forward. We are taught that, once we finally find it, we’ll be forever satisfied in our lives, and so we live feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, chasing this dream, never stopping to question if it is, in fact, right.
The reality is that it is not right. It is a flawed way of thinking. “Happiness” is not a destination. It’s a state of mind, and you don’t need to be in it every moment of every day. Not only is that impossible, but it’s also unhealthy. Life is complex and uncertain. Ups and downs are normal. The day you land that promotion you’ve been longing for might also be the day you suffer your first heartbreak. How do you experience happiness if you don’t know sadness and pain?
It took me years to understand this. Up until that point, I had believed that if I ticked a series of boxes (family, career, own home, car, holidays), I would reach “success” and live my days out happy. But once I arrived at that place, I still felt unfulfilled. I realised the way I had defined success was based on someone else’s definition. What was I missing? The things that made me truly happy — human connection, positively impacting the lives of others, and being present — had been sidelined by my own idea and pursuit of success.
Through these experiments, I noticed a few consistent themes. Many of the people I interacted with carried a fear of failure, financial instability, and judgement from others and themselves around not being good enough. The three greatest barriers to leading a fulfilled and happy life seemed to be distraction, fear, and a lack of curiosity about oneself, others, and the world in general.
Through listening to people’s stories, I also found that those who allowed themselves to fully process so-called “negative” emotions, along with the more positive ones, led happier lives. As they processed those negative emotions, it helped them uncover what truly mattered to them. Some psychologists refer to this as emodiversity — the ability to experience a diverse range of emotions in equal measure.
The people who felt the most fulfilled were the ones who had learned to let go of the need to feel happy all the time and had not only accepted the ups and downs that come with being alive but had also come to appreciate them. This mindset and behavioural shift helped them lean into uncertainty, embrace emotions (both positive and negative), and adapt to their environment with intention and meaning.
Take the example of a close friend of mine. At the age of 58, she lost her entire life savings after investing them in her brother’s business – devastating in itself, but the news came shortly after she learned of his unexpected suicide. This didn’t pull her down: In her grief, she chose gratitude and made an intentional choice to continue living a full life not only for herself and for her mental wellbeing, but for others who relied on her. She made a conscious decision to move on from her job as a doctor’s receptionist to that of a yoga teacher, helping others find their inner peace.
There is also Monique, a young corporate lawyer, who, with no experience in entrepreneurship, gave up her job and ended up starting a large co-working space for female-led entrepreneurs in France. Now she helps women build the skills to raise capital and build businesses.
People who intentionally adapt unlock doors to possibility and potential. This was a light-bulb moment for me. I began to understand that, while you may not have control over every aspect of your environment, you do have control over yourself and the choices you make, including those that affect your mental and emotional health.
Based on my observations, I came up with this more fitting definition of happiness:
“Happiness is being able to ride the wave of every emotion that life throws at you, knowing that you can come out the other side just a little better than what you were before because you have the skills (focus, courage, curiosity), the resources (a positive mindset), and the support structure (a community) to make that happen.”
The more I stared at this definition, the more innately curious I became about this idea of adaptability and the role it plays in reaching a state of fulfilment. That’s when I set off on my next adventure: building a methodology to hack happiness.
During the course of my research, I observed that we are best at adapting when change is imposed by external forces within our environment. Take the example of how we have adapted to living with Covid and lockdowns. We’ve adapted because we’ve been forced to. That’s a great skill for surviving but it’s not ideal for thriving. You thrive through self-motivated, pro-active adaptation, the kind my friend and Monique experienced. It’s not a mindset of “just getting by” but one of intentionality.
While intentional adaptability takes time and practice to get the hang of, through my work, I’ve identified three primary skills that can help you get started.
Focus
You may have heard: We live in a world that is designed to distract us. Our attention has become a highly valuable commodity, so valuable that companies like Netflix claim sleep as one of their biggest competitors. Productivity has become a disease, and “busy” has become our default.
How many times have you received an email urging you to use your downtime to learn a new language or try a new hobby? In the pressure to be productive, we’re filling every waking moment with something to do, whether it’s finding an activity to keep us busy or spending time on our devices.
Our focus on constantly doing things, however, can also be avoidance. Distractions keep us from finding the mind space to sit with both good and bad feelings, including boredom and sadness. Cultivating focus is about learning how to step away from the constant white noise of busyness. It’s about creating the space to be, to think clearly, and to determine what truly matters to us so that we can include more of those things in our lives.
How to Build Focus
Try removing the word “busy” from your vocabulary for just one week and observe how it impacts your mindset, your behaviour, and the connection you have with others. I did this two years ago and it changed my life. When I was asked how I was, instead of saying, “I’m so busy,” I would say, “I’m positively engaged doing XYZ.”
Letting go of the word busy is the first step toward owning your actions and explaining them with intentionality. Instead of telling others and yourself, “I’m overwhelmed with tasks and distractions,” you’re shifting your mindset to, “I’m choosing to invest my time and productivity into these three things.”
This can help us feel less overwhelmed about our to-do list (“I have too much to do!”) and more in control of our time (“I’m doing things that truly matter.”). Equally it stops us from hiding behind a word that reveals no useful information to others, and more often than not, is code for something else: anxiety, loneliness, our need for self-validation or fear of missing out.
Courage
Curiosity and focus alone aren’t enough. During my research, fear came up as the biggest barrier to change. Yet fear, (along with failure), is one of the greatest levers you have available to enable your happiness. Building courage is centred around letting go of the conditioned belief that fear should be used as an alarm bell to run away rather than lean into possibility. Courage helps you step into fear knowing it is a universal, biological human emotion, and one that you can embrace and use to shape the change you’re trying to make. Leaning into fear (that is non-life threatening) enables us to creatively process and remove barriers that stand between wanting something and acting on it.
Through dealings with a range of people, I discovered that when we normalise fear and failure by sharing it openly with our peers, we realise that many of our fears are shared and that we are not alone. This, in turn, makes us feel better about ourselves and enables us to move through fear and failure in a way that is innovative, creative, and focused on growth, rather than limitation.
How to Build Courage
A great way to do this is by practicing small acts of courage, bravery. These acts of bravery are essentially building courage by doing small things each day that push you out of your comfort zone. It can be as simple as being the first to speak up during a meeting, trying a new cuisine, signing up for an online class, or having a vulnerable conversation with a friend. Over time, these small acts of bravery help us takes leaps that may be holding us back. We learn that fear is never as bad or as big as we can make it in our heads. More often than not, unexpected joy is found on the other side.
Curiosity
Part of being adaptable is accepting what you can’t change but acknowledging what you can. Curiosity is a huge part of that. If you never question yourself, others, or the world around you, you will never see the possibilities, paths, or opinions that lie beyond what is most immediately available to you. Curiosity requires us to be fully present, to listen more than we speak, to ask more questions, be observant of new ideas, and embrace the unfamiliar. Most importantly, it challenges our ingrained beliefs.
When we are curious (“What would happen if I take that job offer in London?”), it helps us imagine a future that is different from what is easy or obvious. When we ask questions (“Why can’t I move somewhere new? Why can’t I make a change?”), we begin to identify the behaviours or fears that are holding us back from trying something new. And that is the first step to learning how to adapt, and change, in a way that is intentional.
How to Build Curiosity
Create a list of all the things you are curious about but have little to no knowledge of — and don’t limit them to work-related topics. Your list could include, “How will Artificial Intelligence impact my job?” but it could also include, “Why does a wine glass have a stem?” or even, “How do I start writing a book or start a podcast?”
Once you’ve put down all your ideas, go over your list and highlight the one that lights you up the most. Now, dedicate a small amount of time each day to learning more about it. I gift myself 15 minutes of learning each morning before I do any work at all. Those 15 minutes add up to an extra 65 hours of knowledge-building a year.
What happens when you master these skills? Quite a lot. I found that when people build their ability to intentionally adapt, they:
• Get better at taking control of their time because they know that it is their most precious and valuable resource.
• Become less afraid of saying “no,” and say it often.
• Use fear as a green light to ride the edge of their comfort zone, because they know that growth occurs in discomfort.
• Surround themselves with “unlike minds”— people who challenge them to look at the world through a different lens.
• Become more comfortable sitting with quiet and stillness, because they know it’s where the brain does its most powerful work.
• Trust the discomfort of not accepting the first answer that presents itself.
• Make the time to cultivate deep human connections because they know opportunity and possibility lie at the other end.
•
Happiness should not be your goal, nor an end state, but a way of being. It may sound like a tough ask in todays world of uncertainty. But when you change your understanding of what it means to be happy, you may notice that you start to feel it much more.
In 2011, 27% of the respondents of the Stress in America survey reported a lack of willpower as the greatest obstacle to change. While appreciating that data can be said as dated, I just wanted to use it to define what I am trying to explain. Forgive me for a moment.
We rely on willpower to exercise, diet, save money, quit smoking, stop drinking, overcome procrastination, and ultimately accomplish any of our goals. It impacts every area of our lives.
Willpower is not a new concept, but we still do not have widespread awareness as to how to nurture it
Spiritual leader and activist Mahatma Gandhi described willpower by noting that:
“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
Many people have an intuitive sense of what this willpower is but lack the scientific knowledge to understand the forces that undermine it.
How can we work with willpower instead of against its stubborn nature?
They say knowledge is power, and in this case, knowledge is willpower.
What is Willpower?
People use different definitions to describe willpower, but some of the most common synonyms are: drive, determination, self-discipline, self-control, self-regulation, effortful control.
At the core of willpower is the ability to resist short-term temptations and desires in order to achieve long-term goals. It’s the prevailing source of long-term satisfaction over instant gratification.
Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to overcome apathy, doubt or fear.
• The ability to delay gratification and resist short-term temptations to meet long-term goals;
• The capacity to override an unwanted thought, feeling or impulse;
• The conscious, effortful regulation of the self, by the self;
• A limited resource capable of being depleted.
The general idea linking these definitions is of a self effortfully regulating the self.
Studies show that people scoring high on self-control are more apt at regulating behavioural, emotional and attention impulses to achieve long-term goals when compared to more impulsive individuals.
For most of us, when we think of willpower, the first things to pop to mind are the challenges that require us to resist temptation. How do we refuse that chocolate cake, the department store, the internet, that cigarette, or that after-work drink?
It is hard. We have trouble saying “no” when our bodies and senses are screaming yes.
Psychologist Kelly McGonigal calls this the “I won’t power.” McGonigal is a frequent lecturer at Stanford University and the author of “The Willpower Instinct.” In this latest text, she tackles the concept of self-control and why it matters.
According to her, saying “no” is just one part of what willpower is. But the other part of willpower is “saying yes” to the things you know will lead you closer to your goals. It’s the ability to do what you need to do, even if you don’t feel like it, or a part of you doesn’t want to follow through.
She calls this the “I will power.”
Willpower according to McGonigal is comprised of three things:
• I won’t power;
• I will power;
• I want power (remembering what you really want).
Our brains have the capacity to harness all three of these capacities and, as McGonigal conveys, the development of these abilities is at the core of what it means to be human.
Why Willpower Is Important
In order to survive 100 000 years ago, we had to find food, reproduce and avoid predators.
Living in a tribe greatly increased chances of survival too, but it required self-control. For example, you could not steal someone else’s dinner or girlfriend without consequences.
Self-control was a necessity for survival back in those days and served us well evolutionarily. Today, we are still born with willpower, but some people use their willpower more effectively than others.
In a classic willpower study, Walter Mischel, now a psychologist at Columbia University set out to study self-control in children, with a simple yet effective test.
Known as the marshmallow test, Mischel and colleagues presented preschoolers with a plate of marshmallows. Each child was then told that the researcher had to leave the room for a few minutes and if they waited until his return, the child could have two marshmallows. If the child couldn’t wait, she could ring a bell, the researcher would immediately return, but she could only eat one marshmallow.
Years later, the research team followed up with these kids and found that the children who waited for the second sweet were generally faring better in life scoring higher says and lower body mass index (BMI), 30 years after the initial test.
Most of us are aware of the importance of willpower, nevertheless, we’ll run through the findings of multiple studies on willpower.
Overall, self-control appears to be a better predictor of academic achievement than intelligence. It is also a stronger determinant of effective leadership than charisma and more important for marital satisfaction than empathy.
Anywhere you look at it, people with greater willpower are:
• Happier;
• Healthier;
• More satisfied in their relationships;
• Wealthier and further ahead in their careers;
• More able to manage stress, deal with conflict and overcome adversity.
The point is this: we all have willpower and we all use it to some extent. But most of us would be closer to achieving all our goals if we focused on improving our willpower.
Why is this? It is time to examine the human brain.
The Neuroanatomy of Willpower
The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is the part of our brains, right behind our forehead and eyes that’s responsible for abstract thinking, analysing thoughts and regulating behaviour.
When you meditate or ponder conflicting thoughts, predict outcomes of our choices, and decide “right verse wrong,” you are relying on your PFC. In the figure to the right, it is highlighted in red.
The PFC controls what we pay attention to, how we express our personality, what we think about and how we feel. In other words, it controls a lot of “who we are.”
The PFC expanded in size throughout human evolution, which indicates a natural selection process in favour of its continued growth and evolution. While the brain itself has only increased in size about three-fold over the last five million years, the PFC has increased its size six-fold over this period of time.
As social animals, this makes sense: we evolved to regulate our behaviour based on what is needed for healthy group interactions.
Studies show that this part of the brain is the last to mature; its development is not complete until around age 25. Which is likely why otherwise intelligent and sensible teens still engage in high-risk or excessive behaviours, even though they understand the potential consequences.
Robert Sapolsky, a neurobiologist at Stanford, believes that the main job of our PFC is to encourage the brain towards doing the harder thing. Ordering the salad instead of the steak, going to the gym when your friends are at the pub, getting started on that project you’ve been dreaming about even though it’s easier to procrastinate, etc.
The “I will, I won’t and I want powers” that comprise willpower draw on different parts of the PFC. The brain region near the upper left side is responsible for the “I will power,” helping you start and stick with not so fun or stressful tasks.
The right side handles the “I won’t power,” refraining you from acting on your every impulse or craving.
And the third region which tackles the “I want power,” sits lower in the middle of the PFC, keeping track of your goals and desires. This is the part of your brain that reminds you that you want to live a healthy and full life when everything else in your body is telling you to eat the bacon until you are stuffed.
To understand how important the PFC is for self-control, let’s look at what happens when you damage it. The most famous case and a psychology classic is the story of Phineas Gage.
The Mysterious Case of Phineas Gage
In 1848, Phineas Gage was just a 25-year-old foreman working on the rails. On a very bad day for Phineas, a large iron rod tore through his skull and prefrontal cortex—he survived for the next 12-years, but with some major shifts in personality
Before this accident, coworkers and family members described Gage as a quiet and respectful gentleman. His physician writes that he was exceptionally strong both physically and psychologically.
But during a routine procedure, a 7-inch tamping iron went straight into Phineas skull, piercing his head and blowing away his PFC.
Surprisingly enough, Phineas did not die from this traumatic brain injury. After a couple of months, he recovered and proceeded about his life. Eventually, he left America to be a stagecoach driver in Chile.
Even though his wounds healed, something was fundamentally different and not quite right. According to friends and colleagues, his personality changed.
His physician Dr. Harlow described the differences like this:
“The balance between his intellectual faculties and his animal propensities seems to have been destroyed. He is fitful, irreverent, indulging at times (…) impatient of restraint or advice when it conflicts with his desires…”
It seemed that when Phineas Gage lost his PFC, he also lost his willpower. And even though most of us, are not in danger on an iron piercing through our skull, there are multiple states that inhibit our PFC.
Being drunk, sleep-deprived or just distracted, can be enough for us to focus on our impulses, rather than our long-term goals.
One note to consider in the analysis of Gage as a “medical curiosity,” and how perhaps his tale grew to be exaggerated over time. Nevertheless, it was one of the first instances where personality began to associated with the PFC.
Two Systems in Conflict
If the PFC is responsible for the part of the brain that makes us question, “Do I really need a highly expensive pair of shoes?” then what part is responsible for our cravings and impulses?
Some neuroscientists say that it is like we have two people living inside our mind.
One is a spoiled brat who “wants what it wants” and is always on the look for instant gratification. The other might consider our long-term goals and delay gratification. Sound familiar to the marshmallow study? It is.
Every human has both of these systems, neurologically, in your brain. We flip back and forth between these parts. The part of our brain responsible for our impulsive desires is referred to by neuroscientists as the primitive brain.
This primitive brain is where the hippocampus, the hypothalamus and the amygdala are found. This system is responsible for emotions, behaviour, motivation and long-term memory, to name a few.
Whenever a willpower challenge occurs, let’s take the marshmallow example, the kids see the sweets, and their primitive minds will kick and scream for that sweet. Then comes the PFC and reminds them, that what they really want is 2 sweets.
In short, a willpower challenge is a clash between these 2 systems, where one has to overpower the other.
Remember Walter Mischel, the researcher from the Marshmallow study? Well, he and his colleagues developed a framework they called “hot-and-cool” system that aims to explain why willpower will ultimately succeed or fail.
The cool system is the cognitive, thinking system that reminds you why you shouldn’t have that marshmallow. The hot system is the impulsive, emotional part, responsible for your responses to certain triggers.
When willpower fails, a shiny object of your desire activates your hot system, leaving your cool system with the hard part of talking you back in the direction of your long-term goals.
5 Ways to Strengthen Willpower
Aristotle’s quote is at the core of each of the following ways people can improve their willpower.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
-Aristotle
Once we understand the root source of our behaviours, it is easier—though still difficult—to work towards our goals. Scientific studies highlight exactly how the following behavioural changes can influence willpower.
Each of these suggestions, such as “improve your self-awareness,” relate to these deeper themes in positive psychology of doing the activities that are centred around wellness and flourishing.
1) Improve Your Self-Awareness
How many food choices do you make in a day? One study asked people this very question. On average participants guessed they would make about 14 choices per day.
If you carefully track all your decisions, the average number would be 227. Which shows that, for the vast majority, people aren’t aware of all the food decisions they are constantly making.
Any behaviour that you aren’t aware of is much harder to manage.
Most of our choices are made on “autopilot,” without any awareness of what’s really driving them or the effects they will have in our lives. So, the first step to changing any behaviour is self awarenessgiveness
Self-awareness is the ability to recognise what we are doing as we’re doing it. Our thought processes, emotions, and reasons for acting are an important part of making better choices.
With fast-paced lifestyles, constant distraction, and over-stimulation, self-awareness is not something everyone realises. How does this relate to willpower? Baba Shiv, professor of Marketing at Stanford Graduate Business School, found that distracted people are more likely to give in to temptation.
For example, distracted shoppers are more sensitive to in-store promotions, and more likely to purchase items that were not on their shopping list.
One thing you can do to increase your self-awareness is to keep track of all your choices in a given day. At the end of the day analyse which ones supported your long-term goals and which ones didn’t.
Because of dopamine and serotonin levels, for example, it is much better to make decisions in the morning.
2) Meditate
Meditation does not mean you need to find a quiet view and begin your days by watching the sunrise. Although if you have access and the ability to do that, that’s great.
Meditation can be as simple as taking five deep, calming breaths the next time you are stuck in a long line. The neurological benefits are huge.
“I meditate so that my mind cannot complicate my life.”
-Sri Chinmoy
Historically, the psychological paradigm was that we had a “fixed brain,” meaning you were born a certain way and over time, your brain will decline. This is no longer what science reveals.
With modern technology and research, today’s neuroscientists know that the brain is responsive to experience—it actually changes based on what you do.
When you practice a certain behaviour, you’re strengthening the neural connections for that behaviour, making it more accessible and more likely to occur.
Practice worrying, and you get better at worrying because the brain region associated with that will grow denser. Practice concentration and you’ll also get better at it and your brain will respond accordingly.
You can also train your brain for better self-control and meditation is one of the best ways to do it. Why? Because meditation has a powerful effect on a wide range of skills that relate to self-control:
• Attention;
• Focus;
• Stress management;
• Impulse control;
• Self-awareness.
When you meditate you’re training your mind to focus on a particular given point (your breath for example). Paying attention and observing thoughts, emotions, and impulses without identifying or acting on them. Therefore you’re literally training multiple important skills at once.
Regular meditators have more grey matter in the prefrontal cortex and other areas of the brain responsible for self-awareness. And contrary to what you may think, it doesn’t take years of practice to observe changes in the brain. One study showed that only three hours of meditation resulted in improved attention and self-control, and eleven hours led to visible changes in the brain.
If you want to improve your willpower, try this 5-minute meditation.
1. Sit comfortably with your spine straight, and for the first few moments allow yourself to settle in so you can stay still.
2. Notice any urges to move, scratch an itch, adjust or fidget. See if you can feel the sensations and not follow them.
3. Bring your attention to your breath. As you breathe in, just in your mind say to yourself “inhale” and “exhale” as you breathe out.
4. When your mind wanders off, and it will, just gently bring it back to the breath, again and again. Don’t be hard on yourself if your mind wanders, just gently bring attention back to your breath.
If you found this hard, you’re not alone; anyone who meditates will tell you how hard it was in the beginning. You’ll get better the more you practice. Some days will be harder than others.
If you didn’t resonate with this particular approach, remember there are many different forms of meditation. You can try different ones to see which one suits you best.
If you want more guidance you might want to check out headspace or omvana, both great tools for your meditation journey.
3) Exercise
For a lot of people, exercise is their willpower challenge. But exercise is one of the best tools you can use to strengthen your willpower.
Megan Oaten and Ken Cheng devised a study of treatment to enhance self-control. The participants were 6 men and 18 women, ages 18-50. After two months of treatment these people were:
• Eating less junk food;
• Eating more healthy foods;
• Watching less television;
• Studying more;
• Saving more money;
• Procrastinating less;
• Arriving more on time to appointments.
The treatment? Physical exercise.
These participants were given free memberships to a gym and encouraged to use it. They were not asked to make any other changes, and these were people who didn’t work out regularly before the study.
For the first month of treatment, they exercised on average once per week but increased to three times per week by the end of the study. With such a small number of participants, it would be worthwhile for other researchers to continue this study and compare results.
Regardless, you may be wondering: how much exercise do I need to do for results? Consider instead, how much you’re likely to do, and start with realistic goals.
Remember that consistency over intensity is more important.
Anything that you like to do and gets you moving can be beneficial. A great idea is to take your workout outdoors. Science shows that “green exercise” decreases stress, improves mood and enhances self-control and focus.
Any type of physical activity that gets you out in nature can strengthen your willpower.
4) Eat Well
Roy Baumeister is a social psychologist well known for his theory of willpower depletion. Since the moment we wake up until we go to sleep, we are constantly using our willpower.
A growing body of research proves that resisting temptations takes a toll on us mentally. Some researchers claim that our willpower, just like a muscle, can get tired if overused, and it needs fuel.
“Food is like a pharmaceutical compound that affects the brain.”
-Fernando Gómez-Pinilla
In one of his studies, Baumeister brought subjects to a room filled with “freshly baked cookies aroma” and then sat them at a table with one plate of cookies and another bowl of radishes.
Some were asked to try out the cookies and others were asked to eat the radishes. After this, they were given a complex geometric puzzle to solve and were given 30 minutes to complete it.
Participants who ate the radishes, and resisted the cookies, gave up the puzzle after about 8 minutes, while the cookie eaters lasted for about 19 minutes, on average. Did drawing on willpower to resist the cookies drain them of self-control for the subsequent task?
After this work, an array of studies has built a case for willpower depletion or ego depletion. These findings are linked to the glucose levels of our brain. Glucose is our body’s fuel for energy. The brain’s normal functions such as thinking, learning, and memory depend completely on it.
Exerting our willpower uses a considerable amount of this fuel. Leaving our brains in a state of alert trying to get back to normal blood sugar levels. This drop in blood sugar will normally leave us feeling cranky, moody and more prone to driving to the local bakery. Not all sugars are created equal.
Studies show that sugar, especially the pervasive high fructose corn syrup can increase the levels of stress hormones in the brain and trigger mental health problems like anxiety and depression. To prevent this, eating whole foods regularly and avoiding refined sugars will keep your glucose levels stable and therefore better equipped when it comes to willpower.
Mark Muraven studied ego-depleted individuals and found them persisting longer on a self-control task when they were paid for their efforts or told their efforts would benefit others. So it seems high motivation can be a powerful ally to overcome depleted willpower.
Researchers on self-control also advise that muscles can become fatigued when overused in the short term, but over the long run, they are strengthened by regular exercise.
Similarly, using your self-control frequently and effectively can lead to stronger willpower muscles.
5) Relax
Heart rate variability is one of our body’s physiological indicators of stress and relaxation. It’s the time variation of the interval between heartbeats. Everyone’s heart varies to some degree. For an average healthy person, the heart will have normal ups and downs.
When you’re stressed, the sympathetic nervous system takes over. This is the branch of your nervous system frequently referred to as the “fight or flight system.” It enables your body to respond quickly to perceived threats or stress.
When this happens, your heart rate goes up but the variability goes down, so your heart gets stuck at a higher rate, leading to physical feelings of anxiety and anger.
When you’re in a calm, relaxed state, the parasympathetic nervous system is in charge. This is the other part of your nervous system, often called the “rest and digest system.” You’ll experience a lower heart rate, and the heart rate variability increases since there are longer pauses between heartbeats.
In this relaxed state, you’re more likely to manage stress better, resist impulsive behaviour, exert self-control, and experience a sense of focus and calmness.
Recovering alcoholics are more likely to stay sober when they see a drink if their heart rate variability is high, meaning, they are in a calm state with longer pauses between heartbeats.
In contrast, when their heart variability drops they’re at a greater risk of relapse. Other research shows that people with high heart rate variability are better at:
• Ignoring distractions;
• Delaying gratification;
• Coping with stress.
Heart rate variability a predictor of who will give in to temptations and who will exert willpower.
Different factors influence this physiological measurement, from pollution to the food we eat. Anything that puts your body or mind in a state of stress can interfere, whereas anything that allows you to tap into the parasympathetic nervous system will benefit you.
A 2010 survey by the American Psychological Association (APA) found that 75% of people in the United States report high levels of stress. Americans are also increasingly sleep-deprived, causing an epidemic of poor self-control and focus. Lack of sleep creates impulse control and attention problems similar to attention deficit (ADHD) and hyperactivity disorder.
This is draining their energy and compiling stress that steals their ability to self-control.
Stress will shift your brain to a reward-seeking state. Whatever will make you happy at the moment will become a fixation, as you find yourself craving whatever your brain believes will make you feel better. This is why people who are stressed are more likely to reach for a cigarette, a drink or fast food.
According to the APA, the most common stress coping strategies are also the least effective ones:
• Gambling;
• Smoking;
• Playing video games;
• Surfing the internet;
• Watching TV or movies (for more than 2 hours).
Some of the most effective stress-relief strategies are:
• Exercising/playing sports;
• Praying or attending religious service;
• Reading;
• Listening to music;
• Spending time with loved ones;
• Getting a massage;
• Meditating and doing yoga;
• Going out for a walk.
To tap into your body’s relaxation response, try slowing down your breath to 4 to 6 breaths per minute. This activates your prefrontal cortex and increases heart rate variability, thus rescuing your mind from a state of stress.
Bringing a sense of calm and focus that is more conducive to self-control.
Willpower Weakeners
By now you’ll have a pretty good idea that stress is one of the biggest obstacles to self-control. Two other hindrances are self-criticism and temptation.
Self-Criticism
Two psychologists, Claire Adams and Mark Leary invited a group of weight-watching women into the lab and encouraged them to eat doughnuts and candy—for the sake of science. Their plan was to make half of these dieters feel better about giving in to the doughnuts.
Their hypothesis was that if guilt is a self-control deal-breaker, maybe the opposite of guilt would support willpower.
The women were told they would be taking part in 2 different studies: one was on the effect food has on mood and the other was a taste test. For the first part, all the women were encouraged to eat a doughnut and drink a full glass of water (meant to assure the women felt full and slightly uncomfortable).
For the second part of the study, before the taste test, a researcher came in and encouraged half of the women to be kinder to themselves and to remember that everyone gives in to temptation every now and then. The other half of the women received no message at all.
These women were then asked to sample an array of different candies. All the women were told to eat as much or as little as they wanted.
The women with the self-forgiveness message ate 28 grams of candy. The women who had no message ate about 70 grams of candy. Contrary to common sense, guilt and shame often don’t lead to change but to overindulging. Feeling bad makes it harder to resist temptation because we want to cover our shame and guilt with instant pleasure, or in this case, candy.
Study after study shows how self-criticism is correlated with less motivation and worse self-control.
In contrast, self compassion (being supportive and kind to yourself as you would to a friend, especially when confronted with failure) is associated with greater motivation and self-control.
Temptation
Did you know that erotic images make men more likely to take financial risks? Or that fantasising about winning the lottery makes people overeat?
When your brain is in a reward-seeking mode it releases a neurotransmitter called dopamine.
When your system is flooded with dopamine, the appeal of immediate gratification is amplified, leaving you less concerned about your long-term consequences and more prone to temptations of any kind.
Subliminal environmental cues create tempting environments and retailers are fully aware of how these can trigger your impulses.
That’s why grocery stores will put their most tempting articles front and centre. Food and drink samples in markets will also leave people hungrier and thirstier, therefore in a reward-seeking mode. This reward-seeking mode might result in extra purchases, and unintended buying of candy and chocolates.
Marketers use the promise of reward to sell you their projects. That’s why it is key to reflect before you act.
Where does this leave someone with goals and challenges then? Simply summarised: avoid temptation when you can, and go easy on yourself when you indulge.
A Take-Home Message
Stress, self-criticism, and temptations are some of the biggest obstacles to willpower, whereas paying attention is one of your greatest allies.
A willpower challenge involves a conflict between two systems: the cognitive system and the impulsive system.
Training yourself to notice when you’re making a decision—rather than acting on autopilot—is an effective strategy. Other willpower-strengthening activities are exercise, healthy eating, meditation and relaxation. All of these increase your PFC activation and willpower.
The essence is to train your brain to pause before you act.
The promise of reward doesn’t always equal satisfaction. Your mind tricks you into believing the object of your desire is what will make you happy. But long-term satisfaction is rooted in your ability to refrain from impulses that stray from your goals and values.
Next time you’re faced with a willpower challenge, what will you do?
People with low willpower use it to get themselves out of crises. People with high willpower use it not to get themselves into crises.
Resilience is what gives people the psychological strength to cope with stress and hardship. A sort of mental reservoir of strength that people can call on in times of need to carry them through without falling apart. Psychologists believe that resilient individuals are better able to handle such adversity and rebuild their lives after a catastrophe.
Dealing with change or loss is an inevitable part of life. At some point, everyone experiences varying degrees of setbacks. Some of these challenges might be relatively minor (not getting something that promotion, reaching that desired weight), compared with others that are disastrous on a much larger scale (bereavement, the current pandemic, terrorist attacks). How we deal with these problems can play a significant role in not only the outcome but also the long-term psychological consequences.
What Is Resilience?
Have you ever wondered why some people can seem to remain calm in the face of disaster while others appear to come undone? People that can keep their cool have what psychologists call resilience, or an ability to cope with problems and setbacks.
Resilient people are able to utilise their skills and strengths to cope and recover from problems and challenges.
These problems may include job loss, financial problems, illness, natural disasters, medical emergencies, divorce or the death of a loved one. Instead of falling into despair or hiding from problems with unhealthy coping strategies, resilient people face life’s difficulties head-on.
This does not mean that they experience less distress, grief or anxiety than other people do. It just means that they handle such difficulties in ways that foster strength and growth. In many cases, they may emerge even stronger than they were before.
Those who lack this resilience may instead become overwhelmed by such experiences. They may dwell on problems and use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with life’s challenges.
Disappointment or failure might drive them to unhealthy, destructive, or even dangerous behaviours. These individuals are slower to recover from setbacks and may experience more psychological distress as a result.
What Resilience Provides
Resiliencedoes not eliminate stress or erase life’s difficulties. People who possess this resilience don’t see life through rose-colored lenses. They understand that setbacks happen and that sometimes life is hard and painful. They still experience the emotional pain, grief, and sense of loss that comes after a tragedy, but their mental outlook allows them to work through such feelings and recover.
Instead, resilience gives people the strength to tackle problems head-on, overcome adversity, and move on with their lives. In the wake of traumas such as the terrorist attacks and the current pandemic, many individuals have demonstrated the behaviours that typify resilience.
Not only were they able to remain strong in the face of almost unbearable loss but they were also able to carry on and even offer emotional support to others affected by the same tragedies.
Factors That Contribute to Resilience
Some individuals come by these abilities naturally, with personality traits that help them remain unflappable in the face of challenge. However, these behaviours are not just inborn traits found in a select few individuals. According to many experts, resilienceis quite common, and people are very capable of learning the skills that it takes to become more resilient.
Social support is another critical variable that contributes to resilience. Mentally strong people tend to have the support of family and friends who help bolster them up in times of trouble. Other factors associated with resilience include:
Holding positive views of themselves and their abilities
Possessing the capacity to make realistic plans and stick to them
Having an internal locus of control (degree to which people believe they have control over the outcome of events, as opposed to external forces).
Being a good communicator
Viewing themselves as fighters rather than victims
Having high emotional intelligence and managing emotions effectively
How to Build Resilience
Fortunately, resilience is something that you can build both in yourself and in your children. Here are some of the important steps that you can take to become more resilient.
Reframe Your Thoughts
Resilient people are able to look at negative situations realistically, but in a way that doesn’t centre on blame or brooding over what cannot be changed. Instead of viewing adversity as unbeatable, focus on looking for small ways that you can tackle the problem and make changes that will help.
You can also use this approach to help children learn how to better cope with challenges. Encourage them to think about challenges in more positive, hopeful ways. This way, instead of getting stuck in a loop of negative emotions, kids can learn to see these events as opportunities to challenge themselves and develop new skills.
Seek Support
Having people you can trust and confide in is important for building resilience. Talking about the difficulties you are coping with doesn’t make them go away, but sharing with a friend or loved one can make you feel like you have someone in your corner. Discussing things with other people can also help you gain insight or even new ideas that might help you better manage the challenges you’re dealing with.
Focus on What You Can Control
When faced with a crisis or problem, it can be easy to get overwhelmed by the things that feel far beyond your control. Instead of wishing there was some way you could go back in time or change things, try focusing only on the things that are in your control.
Even when the situation seems a bit dire, take realistic, sensible steps to help improve the situation. Improving your sense of control and resilience can be achieved no matter how these steps may be.
HSE figures published in November 2020 (for the 12 months up to March that year) stated 17.9 million sick days – that’s 54% of all sick days – were due to Stress, Anxiety and Depression. The percentages more or less match the previous couple of years; it’s just the numbers are getting bigger. And these don’t even get into the months of COVID uncertainty, furlough and layoffs.
During COVID, 1 in 2 likely to experience some form of depression (Office of National Statistics Aug 2020)
8% of Adults report feeling ‘always or often lonely’ (ONS Nov 20)
13% experienced suicidal thoughts/feelings (Mental Health Foundation Nov 20)
When life gets busy it can be easy forget to take care of yourself. Work can be stressful with strict deadlines to meet, on top of family commitments, and personal goals you are working overtime to achieve. You can be so focused on the end result that you don’t notice just how exhausted you are, and that’s when burn-out kicks in.
This is where self-care comes into play.
Self-care refers to supporting your physical, mental, and emotional health through activities or practices that you put in place. These don’t have to be over-the-top, or cost you a thing – some are nothing more than a few moments of your time each day. In turn – they can help to keep you happy and healthy, while managing your stress levels and preventing burnout.
Give these self-care tips a try:
Take a moment to stop and reset
The first step towards prioritising self care can be as easy as taking a few moments each day to pause. Take a few slow, deep breaths – being aware of your thoughts, your feelings, and the world around you. Try to incorporate these mindful moments throughout your busy day as a way to stop and reset. If you find you forget – be proactive and schedule reminders into your calendar over the week!
Prioritise relaxation and sleep
Technology has become so integrated with our lives, it can be hard to switch it off. But be aware – the blue light emitted by your phone and tablet can have a negative impact on your sleep by impairing melatonin production.
To help prevent this, try to reduce your use of technology in the hour before bed, and instead use this time to focus on relaxation. Whether it be a warm bath, reading a book, or listening to a podcast – find what works for you to help with the shift from a sympathetic to a parasympathetic state, in preparation for sleep each night.
Practice gratitude
At the end of each day, take the time to write down three things that happened over the day that you are thankful or grateful for. Benefits to practicing gratitude include improved happiness and mood, increased satisfaction with life, better sleep, and less chance of experiencing burnout.
Take the time to exercise
Whether is be getting outside for a walk on your lunch break, or a session in the gym – taking the time to exercise is going to have a positive impact on both your physical and mental health.
Exercise and activity have a positive impact on mental health through:
• Improving cognitive function
• Improving self esteem
• Decreasing negative mood
• Decreasing anxiety
• Decreasing depression
Prioritise your nutrition
Too busy a life often results in poor nutrition choices, as you place the needs of others ahead of yourself. By prioritising your own nutrition as part of your self-care routine, you are not only going to feel better, but you will function better. Even if it’s simply incorporating one small change each week – like eating more protein, increasing your vegetable intake, or drinking more water each day.
Take some time away
It doesn’t need to be a lavish week long holiday – it might only just be for a day. While appreciating that it is almost impossible to get away while the tier restrictions are on. A getaway could even be a couch day, a day you can schedule where you can shut off for a while, let your body and mind relax and repair. Taking the time every now and then to do something for yourself can help you to relax, recharge, and come back fresh and ready to take on a new week.
Try making your self-care a priority by implementing some of these simple, easy-to-do tips into your daily routine. Share them too, others will benefit from them just as much as you do!
It’s not about being selfish. It’s about being you, being the best you, and getting the best out of your life.
If you want the confidence to make health & fitness a priority, not just for yourself, but with others too, get in touch.
Each of us has experienced how awful 2020 has been and yes, we have all been affected in some way by COVID-19 and it’s variants.
Throughout all the sadness it’s been too easy to focus on the negative things, because the truth is, it has been bloody awful. But let’s not forget, there is an importance to remembering all the good that has come out of this year too. Hope.
We learned to adapt to change, which will build our resilience for the future. So many people have taken up new hobbies and learnt new skills.
We may have enjoyed the slower pace of life and had time to reflect on life as a whole.l, perhaps had time to realise that the job or career you’re in isn’t for you and you’re going to put your hand at trying something different.
There has been so much kindness as well this year, communities coming together to clap for the NHS and Key-workers, people generally meaning ‘how are you?’ when they stop to talk to someone at a distance, many helping out the vulnerable with shopping and just checking in on them. I’ve experienced workplace wellness, as more businesses are putting the well-being of their staff at the top of their priority for 2021.
So, if you are rounding off the year with a ‘good riddance to 2020’, stop and remind yourself that some good has also come out of it – give yourself a pat on the back for getting through it. Think about all the things that made you smile, made you proud and gave you hope, whether it was Sir Tom Moore, someone you know, or yourself. There has to be hope.
Remember, the sun always shines after the storm.
I wish you as wonderful a Christmas as you can, and the happiest, healthiest of New Years…
Over the next couple of weeks you’re going to see a lot of these in various places, so I apologise now, I just thought to share some tips on how to stay on track during the holidays, even when faced with some of the toughest social situations which will test your self-control!
Moderation, unfortunately…
Find a healthy balance
Before I dive into my tips for staying on track during the holidays, it’s important to note that the holiday season is a time to relax and enjoy the company of your family and friends! Due to the COVID restrictions I appreciate how hard it is going to be especially if you are unable to spend time with those you love. Try to keep in touch as you can, possibly face time, zoom or portal. Find a healthy balance that allows you to really enjoy the holiday season.
You can apply the 80/20 rule here. So, if you’re eating healthy most of the time (80%) you can allow for some treats (20%). Try to limit alcohol as these are empty calories and can tempt you into eating MORE. It’s also important to remember that the holiday period is family oriented and is a time where it is OK to enjoy this time to relax and practice mindful eating without the guilt.
Don’t go anywhere hungry
Becoming too hungry can lead to poor food choices. Research has shown that as meal skipping increases, the quality of meals become poorer, hunger is aggravated, and excessive eating occurs during the next meal (2). Plan to have a small snack or light meal with some protein and fibre if you have are headed anywhere. At this time of year there are more temptations than usual.
Bring a healthy dish
If it’s a pot-luck style event, bring your own homemade healthy dish so that you know there is one option to turn to if all else fails. Ideas for this could be a veggie tray with yoghurt dip or guacamole! Simple but really easy and tasty!
Variety
Use a smaller plate
Use a plate and stay on track to keep your portions in track. It is SO easy to go overboard and return for multiple rounds of finger foods which we just pick, grab and gobble.
Do not hang around the food
If food is in front of us it becomes harder for us to resist. Be social but do so AWAY from the food table.
Do not skip training
Get it done and dusted early as by doing this, you won’t feel guilty about letting yourself enjoy and socialise later on in the day. If you’re not a morning person, try to stay active in other ways like taking the stairs instead of elevator or escalator, park far away while doing your holiday shopping, or even if you are unlucky enough to be working, go for a walk with family after meals.
The clean stuff
Drink a lot of water
Ensure you stay hydrated if you are planning to have drinks with your friends. It’ll help you feel so sluggish the next day. Another tip is to also try having one drink and a water in between so you are spreading them out.
Plan ahead
Eat a balanced meal before you go and pack protein packed options such as pre-cooked proteins, boiled eggs, roasted nuts, fruit, tuna, a protein shake, hummus and veggie sticks etc. This will ensure you avoid temptation when you’re stuck doing your shopping.
The key to succeeding with your fitness goals is to plan ahead. During the holidays, think about how you will plan to get your workout in. Try an online exercise class, home workout session. Even a gentle yoga class on those days you feel a bit non-energetic?
Say No – it’s ok!
This is the one that hits home for a lot of people. Do NOT feel guilty about turning down high-calorie foods. Don’t feel you HAVE to eat anything that someone offers you. Be selective and get used to politely saying no. It will be tough enough these holidays, physically and emotionally. The odd drink or two and a couple of snacks we probably wouldn’t normally have are not going to hurt. The main thing is to stay in touch with those close to you, but take care to look after you.
Get into the habit of waking up early and you’ll be more productive, more energised and feel more grounded for the rest of your day.
You will end up getting more things done earlier. And that means you can spend more time doing the things you love rather than the things you have to do.
Sounds okay, doesn’t it?
Today, we’re going to look at an area of productivity that proves challenging for a lot of people: waking up early. You can probably relate if you’re a night owl. It’s not easy to change your sleep patterns and become an early riser.
But believe me, if you’re interested in getting more things done, it’s worth it. Arnold Schwarzenegger once said that if you can’t get up early and you need 8 hours, sleep faster!
Let’s talk about some of the benefits of being an early riser.
Reasons To Get Out Of Bed An Hour Earlier
If you’ve read any accounts from people who get up early, you probably don’t need to be convinced of the habit’s virtues. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to list a few just as a reminder.
Fewer Distractions
Think back to the last time you woke up early – whether you had a nasty case of insomnia or because you had to be somewhere. Do you remember how quiet your house was?
Your spouse was probably still in bed, snoring away peacefully, mouth wide open.
Kids dreaming of superheroes, birthday parties and ponies.
Dog was probably snoring.
The phone was quiet, the television was off and the stress of the day laying dormant in a dark corner.
There were fewer distractions. That’s a perfect work environment.
Increased Productivity
With fewer interruptions, you can focus on your work. Tasks that might take you an hour to complete when it seems everyone wants something may take half that amount of time.
You’re not just gaining time by waking up early. You’re gaining quiet time. That makes all the difference in the world.
Have you ever arrived at work before anyone else. Do you remember how productive you were? It’s the same idea, just at home.
Time To Exercise
Getting to the gym is harder after leaving work. You’re tired and hungry and the last thing on your mind is running on a treadmill or lifting weights.
I understand.
And that’s one of the huge advantages to being an early riser. You have time to exercise before your workday starts. You can hit the gym, go for a run around your local area or take your dog for a walk.
And as an extra bonus, you’ll feel pumped for the rest of your day.
More Energy
Remember the last time you slept in and had to drag yourself out of bed? It was like your brain was in zombie-mode despite having just slept for 10 hours.
When you develop the early-riser habit, that grogginess disappears.
For sure, you’ll feel groggy during the first few days as your brain tries to adjust to your new sleep patterns. That’s natural.
But as time goes by, you’ll experience it less and less. Once the habit really takes form, you’ll wake up ready to tackle the day.
Don’t take my word for it. Give it a try and see for yourself.
Better Outlook
For me, this was one of the most surprising things about waking up earlier. I became more optimistic about things.
That may have had something to do with my getting so much work done in the quiet hours of the morning. I love being productive. I feel great when I’m bossing my to-do list. So of course, I felt optimistic!
But it might also have been due to less stress. Deadlines didn’t seem like black clouds anymore. I was getting things done early (most of the time), which allowed me to relax.
You’ll never hear an early riser say, “Man, getting up early is just depressing.” They tend to have a great outlook on life.
Time To Review Your Goals
Hopefully, you have goals.
Most people don’t. They have dreams, dreams such as winning the lottery. Yes, they have aspirations, perhaps like writing a novel. But goals that spur action and come with deadlines are usually in short supply.
But you’re different. If you’re reading this blog, you’re interested in personal development and lifestyle management. Goals are a natural part of that package.
The early morning hours are the perfect time to review your goals. You can evaluate your progress without worrying about interruptions. You can also brainstorm new goals and the steps you need to take to reach them.
Let’s switch gears. I’ll assume you’re convinced that getting up early is a great way to boost your productivity. I’ll now give you several tips for developing the habit.
Simple Hacks To Become An Early Riser
In a recent message, I recommended placing the alarm clock 6 feet away from the bed. Doing so forces you to get up to turn it off. It eliminates the chance that you’ll slap the snooze button (or throw whatever you use for an alarm out the window).
Here are some more tips.
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Now, let’s get to those tips. Here’s how to become an early riser…
Go To Bed Earlier
Don’t just shorten your sleep time. If you’re going to get up an hour earlier, go to bed an hour earlier. If there’s one thing scientists agree on, it’s that we need to get at least 7 hours each night.
Can you function on less? Probably. I got by with 4 hours of sleep each night for more than a year.
But I paid for it. I fell asleep during meetings, I was constantly agitated and the quality of my output suffered. If I had to do it again, I wouldn’t. Learn from my mistake.
Now, it’s one thing to say, “I’ll go to bed early.” It’s another thing entirely to actually do it. There are a lot obstacles between you and your bed.
For example, you might have kids. The younger they are, the more work you have to do to get them ready for bed.
You may get pulled into past episodes of The Walking Dead. Trust me, I relate.
You might find yourself working late to finish a high-priority project. Again, I understand.
That’s why you need to create a nighttime routine for yourself. Choose a time to go to bed and work backwards. For example, let’s say you decide to hit the sack at 10:00 p.m. Here’s what your routine might look like:
• turn off the computer by 7:00 p.m.
• start the process of putting the kids to bed at 8:00 p.m.
• take a shower at 9:00 p.m.
• relax, maybe read at 9:15 p.m.
• stare at the backs of your eyelids at 10:00 p.m. (mission accomplished!)
Creating and sticking to a routine helped me to get to bed earlier. It’ll help you too.
Focus On 15 Minutes
You’ve heard the saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” That old saw can also be applied to changing your sleep habits.
If you can get up an hour earlier every day without experiencing any consequences – for example, extreme grogginess and grouchiness – great! But if you’re like most people, that’s a recipe for failure.
It’s like quitting sugar cold turkey. You’re going to suffer withdrawals. (I’ll cover how to quit sugar and the reasons to do so down the road. Join my email list to get a heads up when I publish that blog post.)
A much better way to become an early riser is to work in small, 15-minute increments. Let’s say you normally get up at 7:00 a.m. Try this:
• spend this week getting up at 6:45 a.m.
• spend the following week getting up at 6:30 a.m.
• spend the week after that getting up at 6:15 a.m.
• get up at 6:00 a.m. during the 4th week.
See how easy that is?
It’s like losing weight. The ones who go on a juice diet and sheds 40 pounds in 2 months is probably going to pack that weight back on at some point. Meanwhile, the smart ones who slowly adopt a healthier diet and loses a pound a week in the process is more likely to keep the weight off.
That’s how becoming an early riser works. Be the tortoise. Not the hare.
Create A Morning Routine
You probably have a number of tasks lined up to perform when you get out of bed. I’m not talking about brushing your teeth (though you’ll definitely want to take care of that dragon breath). I’m talking about things that will get your day started on the right foot.
Things that will set the stage for massive productivity.
Having a routine precludes thinking about what you should do when you wake up. Back when I first started to get up earlier, I didn’t have a routine. So, I’d get up, check email, visit a few online forums, click on the internet to see what was going on in the world.
I wasted a ton of time.
Here’s my current routine:
• get up at 4:10a.m.
• chug a glass of water
• Walk the dog
• make myself look presentable (or nearly so)
• grab my backpack (I pack it at night), head to the gym
• If I don’t go to the gym, a quick cardio session and check emails/to-do list, identify my priority task for that day.
• start working
•
With that routine in place, I never have to think about what I should be doing when I get out of bed. I already have my marching orders. It’s just a matter of taking action.
If you don’t already have a morning routine, I strongly recommend coming up with one. It’s the best way I know to hit the ground running when you get out of bed.
Eliminate Your “Plan B”
The brain is a funny thing. Sometimes, it’s your best friend. It keeps your body running properly, triggers rewarding emotions and when your life is at stake, spurs you to take action (the old fight-or-flight response).
But other times, the brain is like that mischievous friend who’s always trying to pull you into something dubious. You know the type. The kind that can’t seem to stay out of trouble.
When you’re trying to become an early riser, your brain will become that latter type of friend. It’ll try to convince you to hit snooze and enjoy a few more winks. It’ll whisper that sleeping in will only help you perform better during the day.
If it thinks it’s losing you, it’ll start calling you crazy for climbing out of a warm bed just to start work earlier.
Your brain will try relentlessly to convince you to execute Plan B: going back to
The solution? Train yourself. When the alarm goes off, you are in charge – learn to to count 5-4-3-2-1 up. Out of bed, boss the day. You are ahead of everyone else.
You need to eliminate any Plan B your brain presents as an option. When your brain tries to convince you to stay in bed – or calls you crazy for wanting to get out of it – ignore it.
Following its suggestions is no longer an option.
Leave Your Bedroom
Ideally, your bedroom should be designed to support only a few activities:
• sleep
• reading in bed
• enjoying “quality time” with your significant other
If you’re not doing any of those things, you don’t have a reason to hang around. That being the case, leave your bedroom as soon as you climb out of bed. Staying there will only tempt you to get back under the warm covers.
Also, keep in mind that your significant other will still be dreaming when you wake up. That’s another reason to leave. Let him or her sleep in peace.
6 – Track Your Early-Morning Output
Ever heard the saying “what gets measured gets managed?” Put another way, you can’t improve what you don’t track.
I’m a huge advocate of tracking things. Here are some of the items on my list:
• how long it takes me to write a blog post
• how long it takes me to design a client’s programme
• how long it takes me to check email each day
• how long the zoom calls are
• how many hours I spend writing
• how long it takes me to write a pitch for a trade publication
•
Tracking those things are the only way I can know whether I’m improving or slacking off. It’s also a huge motivator. At the end of the week, I can see how many words I’ve written, how I can shorten the internet calls, and whether I’m hitting my production targets.
If I did well during the week, I’m more enthused to keep up my momentum.
That’s why you should track your early-morning production. Each morning, jot down a few notes regarding the tasks you accomplished by waking up early. Here are some ideas:
• number of emails returned
• small tasks completed
• plans made for the week
• bills paid for the month
• content written
Obviously, the items you track will depend on your morning routine. You may do things a lot differently than I do. So your list of items will look different than mine.
The important thing is to monitor your output. Then, review it at the end of week. You’ll be floored by how much more you accomplished just be waking up an hour or two earlier each day.
Go Easy On Yourself
You’re probably going to stumble. The road to becoming an early riser is an uneven one filled with bumps and cracks.
If you’ve been a night owl your entire life, you can’t expect to change overnight. Nor can you expect to adopt an entirely new sleep pattern without the occasional mistake.
You might rationalise sleeping in when you know you shouldn’t. You might hit the snooze button and climb back into bed when you know doing so is going to hamper your morning productivity.
Don’t beat yourself up over it. It happens. I’ve done it more times than I can count.
The goal isn’t to become a machine. It’s to develop a new sleeping habit. The occasional failure is part of the experience. If you stumble on Monday, don’t worry about it. Get back on track the following day.
Beating yourself up will only discourage you. And that’s no way to improve yourself.
Here’s What I Want You To Do Right Now
Start developing this habit tomorrow. Commit to setting your alarm ahead by 15 minutes.
Next, sit down and create a morning routine and a nighttime routine. The former will provide your marching orders when you wake up tomorrow. The latter will help you to hit the sack earlier so you’ll get a sufficient amount of sleep. What do you do in the morning that can be prepared the night before? An extra 15 minutes without the TV/internet will do you good as well?
Remember, personal development is all about taking action. I’ve just given you a complete plan for becoming an early riser and boosting your daily, weekly and monthly productivity.
HunkyDory 